OFF-COURSE

OBSERVING ADULTS AS A CHILD WAS AN INFORMAL STUDY IN ORIENTATION. THEIR DECISIONS AND ACTIONS WERE A GUIDEPOST, BUT OFTEN ONE THAT LACKED CLARITY OR PURPOSE. MANY ADULTS SEEMED TO NAVIGATE LIFE IN A REACTIONARY WAY, WITH DECISIONS ROOTED IN HABIT OR UNEXAMINED BELIEFS RATHER THAN INTENTION. TOPICS SUCH AS FAITH, RELATIONSHIPS, AND ETHICS WERE OFTEN TREATED AS INHERITED RATHER THAN CHOSEN, REVEALING A RELUCTANCE TO FULLY EXAMINE LIFE AND CHART A DELIBERATE COURSE.

AS I ENGAGED MORE WITH THESE OBSERVATIONS, I REALISED THAT MANY OF THE PRESENT ISSUES STEMMED FROM CHILDHOOD PATTERNS THAT HAD GONE UNADDRESSED. THIS INSIGHT FORCED ME TO TURN THE LENS ON MYSELF. I BECAME PAINFULLY AWARE OF HOW FAR OFF COURSE I WAS FROM WHERE I WANTED TO BE AND HOW I LACKED THE RESOURCES—MENTAL, EMOTIONAL, AND PRACTICAL—TO REALIGN MYSELF.

THIS REALISATION LED TO A NEW APPROACH: TO INTENTIONALLY CONFRONT MY IGNORANCE AND MAKE PROGRESS TOWARD ALIGNMENT WITH MY GOALS. THIS PROCESS HAS BEEN DIFFICULT, BUT IT HAS ALSO BEEN IMMENSELY REWARDING, YIELDING INSIGHTS AND CHANGES THAT HAVE SIGNIFICANTLY REORIENTED MY PATH.

YET, I AM CONFLICTED. I RECOGNISE THE RISK OF BECOMING TRAPPED IN PERPETUAL SELF-IMPROVEMENT—FOREVER REFINING AND NEVER ACTING. I BELIEVE I HAVE REACHED A POINT WHERE THE FOUNDATION IS STRONG ENOUGH. IT IS TIME TO FULLY IMMERSE MYSELF IN LIFE, TO PRACTICALLY APPLY THESE CHANGES WHILE CONTINUING TO GROW AND EVOLVE IN MOTION.

THIS BALANCE—BETWEEN INTENTIONAL GROWTH AND LIVING FULLY—IS THE NEXT STEP IN THE JOURNEY.